When I found out about the death of our interlibrary loan system as we'd known it, it was a severing from something familiar for me. A ripping away from something I'd known and used for years.
The death knell came in the form of a email. It tolled the news to inform us that the system was going to be down while they switched over to a new one. And when it came back up, there was going to be a 3 dollar fee for every book ordered through it. Oh, and all requests had to be submitted by filling out a paper form, not by the online way we'd been using.
In other words, it was going to be totally different.
I'm sure the librarian didn't like sending that email and braced herself for the onslaught of outraged replies, because I wasn't the only heavy user of the system. But I was certainly one of the heaviest, one of the most faithful.
And I know the above description sounds dramatic. Why should that change matter as much as it did to me? It's just three dollars, you'd pay five times as much for the same book bought new. It's just paper slips. It's just...
But it did matter.
It mattered because I knew that interlibrary loan system like the back of my hand. I could tell when I'd be able to get a book through it, when I couldn't, and when it might be a stretch that I could get that book five states away but it might still happen. I knew how to navigate all its bugs and glitches.
It mattered because the interlibrary loan system was my library. My reading life lived largely off of that system, because there was no way I could've afforded to read as much as I did. I've already read (and reread) much of what our library had to offer. And one thing it really doesn't offer, is Christian fantasy.
It mattered because that system was how I discovered Chuck Black, Priscilla Shirer, Jonathan Rogers, Jaye L. Knight, and a whole host of other authors. It was how I read (and even reread) The Bark of the Bog Owl series, the Kingdom series, the Ilyon Chronicles, and The Prince Warriors series.
It mattered because it gave me access to the fantastically true stories that made me realize I wanted to craft my own.
Fast forward to today, and here I am. Writing reviews and blog posts like these, supporting other authors, and yes, crafting my own fantastical, honest stories. Stories that I hope will do for others what those stories did for me, continue to do for me.
That system was an integral reason of why I am here, doing what I'm doing, today. A part of my childhood and teen years, a familiar piece in my life, is now gone. To be replaced by a stranger I don't trust yet, that looks and feels strange, different. Things have...
Changed.
Fall is a season of change. While you can still feel summer's touch, it's fading fast. The most striking thing to me about fall is the warm colors it has even as it shifts us into the cold of winter. The single color of green explodes into a variety of colors as fall's fiery hues burn up what's left of summer.
I think change in general is a lot like that. It can be beautiful and good. It can also be hard and challenging. Oftentimes, it's a paradoxical mix of both. I have a love / hate relationship with it, just as I do with fall. It often burns up what's left of a comfortable summer.
It takes my familiar interlibrary loan system away from me. And I'm resistant to it.
But here's the thing... For the rest of the summer, I was without any interlibrary loan system. The change to the new system took much, much longer that expected. (Surprise surprise, right?) So, I was forced to explore my own library again, and look to my small, private home library. The results were that I dipped my toes into two very different genres from Christian fantasy, and even very different from each other.
Completing one of my 2024 reading goals, I tried out two Christian regency romance novels by the same author. I was pleasantly surprised by the witty banter, and while it's not a genre I'll read often, it's something I'll pick up when I'm in a "Pride and Prejudice" mood.
From my own shelves, I picked up Sequoyah Branham's In the Company of Cows, a contemporary western novella. To be honest, I'm not sure I've ever read anything in that genre. But it has been a long time since I related to a character as much as I did to Nora, in any genre. The descriptions of social anxiety were so accurate, and the portrayal of life with livestock gritty and realistic. I felt seen by that book, and I had to go outside of my normal genre to find that.
But would these adventures in new genres and books have happened if I still had my old system?
Maybe not.
Don't get me wrong, I still want my old system back. But here's a curious thing I'm realizing: good stories and journeys can't happen without change. We wouldn't want to read them, or take them, if things didn't change. Unexpected plot twists have to happen in stories. We have to move from one town to another to make any progress.
Of course, I like it when the unexpected plot twists happen in stories on the page, not in the story I'm living. And it's easier to watch others move than to make the move myself.
But the hard (and good) reality is that changes, both the ones bringing vibrant color and the ones bringing bitter cold, are part of the life we have to journey, the story we have to live, before we reach the eternal end of heaven. You don't get to the end unless there is change.
And here's another curious thing about change: change is what changes us. It shapes us, and we get to choose how.
Do we change from green to vibrant hues of red and yellow and orange, on fire for our final destination? Or do we cling to the last vestiges of summer and never know the spring to come? Because ultimately, there is one reason to change into the fiery hues of fall and let go of the summer we dread leaving.
There is a God, the great I AM, Who never changes. And because He never changes, He is always with us in the midst of our change. And through our change, we often get to know Him better, as change strips us of the things that don't matter.
As you loose your old system and learn another way of living.
So, let's lift our eyes up to what lies beyond. The plot twists are hard, but we know where this story ends. The journey is rough, but the end is in our sight. He is by our side, He won't leave us and we can never loose Him through any change. For one day, all will be restored and we will know Him, the One who never changes, in the eternal spring of heaven.
In the song We Will Survive by Andrew Peterson, there's these lines...
"Someday the truth's gonna lay us bare
We're gonna raise a glass to the past and say
It's only when the straight line breaks and heals a little crooked
That you ever see the grace
Well I had to find a better place
Maybe the bend in the river's the only way."
Sometimes the unexpected bend in the river is the only way home.
Sometimes the plot twist is the only way the story can end well. Ultimately, we loose all that is earthly. So if change means we loose it now, that's okay. We were going to loose it anyway. But we will gain something we can never loose when we see His face and are changed, restored, along with the rest of the world.
So I say this to you as well as to myself: Courage, friend. Let's leave summer behind, and choose the fiery colors of change, as we look to our final destination. We're headed home, and He who never changes is with us on this ever changing journey. This isn't comfortable, this isn't easy.
But it is worth it to know the One who never changes. The One Who's name is...
"I AM."
Until the next post, may you be blessed,
Abby 💜
"And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
Revelation 21:5 NASB