I'm Not a B&N Girl: Musings from a Recent Bookstore Trip

It's been literally years since I last visited B&N. To me, it's not real great for book shopping: their prices are high and they don't have what I want very often. I have a favorite used bookstore that I've visited a lot more than B&N.

But, somehow, it seems every few years I get this itch to go back there and nose around to see what it's like in a "posh" bookstore. It's like a obligation I have as a bookworm girl and writer, haha.

This visit, I was more aware of seeing what they were selling and promoting than I have been before. It's interesting because when you visit a B&N, you get a feel for where the book market stands right now. And marketing is intriguing to me, so I couldn't help but note a few interesting things...

   For one thing, the store reflected bookstagram pretty accurately. Books that I've been hearing about over and over and over ever since I joined the book community on Instagram were on display and I recognize quite a few of them. (Books that I don't care to read, btw.)

   I was distracted after that by the notebook section, because of course. But after picking up a purple planner I liked and flipping it over to see the price tag, I was reminded why I don't shop at B&N: it was 30$. I inwardly choked and put the thing back on the shelf, haha.

   Then I wandered over to the Christian non fiction section. I have a love hate relationship with this section: one minute I spy a book I love (like Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis) and think "Ah yes, that one is so solid and good." And the next I spy another book (like anything by Joel Osteen) and think "Ah yes, prosperity gospel / new thought teachings."

   rubs forehead It's such an odd mix of real theology, and self help with questionable teachings, all under the label of "Christian." One minute you're looking at solid theology books by C. S. Lewis, and the next you spy something you're pretty sure is slightly heretical. And then you have to try to judge which is which with books you don't know about.

(Here's a important lesson: secular bookstores / the industry will slap the label "Christian" on a lot of things that aren't Christian or have Biblically unsound beliefs. Don't assume that because it's in the Christian section, it's theologically sound.)

   But I was pleased / surprised at the large selection of Bibles that this B&N had. There were some nice ones there. I was disappointed by the smallness of the Christian fiction section: I expected it to be bigger. But they did have a set of the Dragons in our Midst series by Bryan Davis, so good on them for that. (That's such a crazy amazing series.)

   I wandered around the middle grade section for a bit, recognizing old friends and old enemies. cough Aka, books I love, and books that are popular but that I've avoided for one reason or another.

But there were books there that I recognized as beloved, like Chronicles of Narnia. Perhaps I should've spent longer there, but I moved on and dared to stick my nose in the YA section, just to see if I saw any authors I recognized and liked.

   I saw enough I recognized, none I liked or would ever read. And I honestly didn't want to spend too long in there: the shelves were black. I'm not kidding. So many of the books had black or dark colored covers that the shelves they were on took on a darker color tone. I should've got a picture of it, actually.

(Instead, I got a picture of this horse book displayed prominently on this shelf. Have no idea about it, but my eye is drawn to anything with a horse 😂)

   I knew that popular YA tended to be dark, but I hadn't really seen it for myself until then. I've read so much YA that isn't that way (and that have colorful covers), but you wouldn't know that existed looking at those shelves. That wasn't to say there wasn't color, or that all the books there were bad, but I just found that very interesting to note... (And I can't condemn them too much when my own anthology's cover is also dark colored.)

   Finally, I ventured into the fantasy section. Actually, I had trouble finding this section an employee led us there. I'm looking for a Lord of the Rings set to call my own, and I wondered if B&N would have any editions I'd like.

   They unfortunately didn't have any editions of LotR that I'd been considering, but there was a boxed set. I flipped it over, read the description, and realized it had the watercolor illustrations I wanted. So I began to actually think that I might have found my set, but where was the price sticker...?

   You probably saw where this was going. When we did find the price sticker, I choked for the second time in that store at the 300$+ price tag. Suddenly, the 100 dollars I'd considered spending on another set seemed quite cheap, to say the least, and I dropped the idea of that set like a hot coal.

   I poked around in the fantasy section, but it was pretty much the same as the YA. Recognized some books, none I liked or wanted to read.

   After that, I'd pretty much explored what I wanted to see, so I went back to the Christian non fiction and notebook section. I picked out one book to splurge on (as in I actually bought a new non fiction book at B&N price gasp) and some of my favorite pens, Pilot G2s. (Which, when I looked at the receipt a few days later, realized were 11 dollars. Somehow, I'd forgotten they'd be that price and not regular price lol. I'm not buying pens from B&N again, haha. But they are pretty...)

(So far The Unplugged Hours has been pretty good... Better than the pens lol.)

   Thus ends my obligatory B&N trip. So, what did I learn?

   First, never be tricked into thinking anything will be cheap at B&N, and only shop there for books. Okay, but besides that...

   Something I already knew about myself was brought out in stark contrast so that it no longer hovered in the back of my mind anymore. The reason why I'm not a B&N / popular fiction girl.

   B&N isn't for me not just because I'm perfectly fine with used books or reading from the library. (Thought that's part of it.) If B&N represents what is popular, what is selling... Then I don't read that. And I don't write that.

   I never have.

   And I don't want to.

   I don't write what fits with the culture. The reason B&N doesn't have what I want is because I'm not what B&N or the culture wants, nor is my work. And that's okay.

   It shouldn't. It wasn't meant to.

   It was meant to be a bright cover in the YA section. A beloved friend in the middle grade section. Grounded in eternal truths from the Christian non fiction and Bible section.

   What I'm into is fantasy / stories that are wonder filled, fantastical, and beautiful. Not just entertainment. That does not sugarcoat the darkness nor ignore the fact that darkness is conquered. That are rooted in a deep, eternal truth not of this world.

   And it's for the readers who are not of this world either.

   I'm not saying I would think that I've "failed" if one of my books was in B&N. No, not at all. It would be a dream come true to have my books in any physical bookstore! I'm glad there are still some books like that in B&N. And I'm not saying that I won't ever read a popular book.

But I am acknowledging the fact that what B&N sells and what I write are two very different things. That what I want to read and what the culture wants to read at the moment is very different.

Culture wants dark fantasy; I want strong fantasy where darkness is used to contrast with light.

Culture wants "You do you" when it comes to truth; I want truth that doesn't change, the branches that support stories that soar to brush their leaves with heaven.

Culture thinks that nasty things in a book make it a good book; I want stories who say that's a lie, and a cheap disgusting filler for what's truly good, beautiful, and worth having.

Culture wants morally gray and relativism; I want good and evil. A God of both grace and justice.

Culture wants escape and entertainment: I want fiction that soothes the wounds of others and give people what they need to fight back the darkness while giving them a good story.

   And I'm saying that I'm okay with that. I write for the ones like me. Who also struggle to find what they want in a place like B&N. Who wants Christian fantasy that's wonder filled and deeply honest. With all the messiness of this world and all the Glory of God.

I write for the ones who find so little good in B&N, and are disgusted by the popular books that fill the shelves but just tend to be hollow fluff with wrong truths, or worse, have nasty things that should never be in a book. I write for the ones who plug their ears to the world's shout and walk a less trod, harder path.

   So, that's why I'm not a B&N girl.

And I'll get off my soapbox now. Please note this is not an indictment against B&N only. This is just a culmination of thoughts that I've always had, but which this recent bookstore trip brought to the forefront. And also, don't take it like I didn't enjoy my trip, because I did! I was just also reminded why I don't do this very often, haha.

So what about you?

Are you like me?

Until the next post, may you be blessed,

Abby 💜